The Best Body in the Building

That was her nickname: Best Body in the Building. I was in my mid-late 20s and, let's just say that by the time we got through with each other, she was almost Sarah Palin's age, now.

The MINUTE I saw her, I knew I was going to get her, not knowing -- or caring -- whether she was gay, straight, in a "partnership", married to a man, whatthefuckever; I was arrogant, self-sufficient and self-made, and knew EXACTLY what I wanted, and how to go about getting it. So, Fate, having no choice in the matter, serving me right, complied. It ended up being an emotional disaster, but also some of the best beddin' I'd ever had. Hannah still goes down in my personal history with that title.

It probably goes without saying what she looked like, at this point. Dark, wavy hair, perfect for running one's fingers through; big brown eyes; wide, confident smile, and of course, the subject of the title, the Best Body in the Building, slender yet voluptuous, clothed in femininity-enhancing wares, so inherently superior to all, people actually called her that to her face.

She looked like she was only a few years older than I, although I must say that at the time, I looked as if I were still in my very early 20s. What a pair we were to make, turning all kinds of heads on the street.

Being a self-identified libertine -- having actually read DeSade, and Sacher-Masoc, and the rest of the literary bad guys...and galz... -- I was already in an open relationship, where each was free to talk about attractions to others, and, with permission, "do something about it".

Like I said, disaster.

Hannah/Siren was indeed quite the Lesbian-American, to the frustration of the guys, and in a committed relationship she was looking to get out of. So I come along, making a bee-line for her, though it's safe to say we seduced each other.

In retrospect, it should not have happened, if only because there were other people involved, outside of our insane, closed universe of desire for each other. The allure WAS the ethic; never a good situation.

And we got caught playing hooky from work, messing around on the sly at my house, her partner calling around the office and figuring it out. Hannah left her for me, and I broke up one of the best relationships I've had to be with her, in one of the stormiest relationships ever put in print.

Lots happened that should not have. Yes, there are plenty of regrets, though I can't say I feel a lot of remorse for the actual events of our sexytime. The Girl was every bit as hot as she looked, perhaps even moreso, being older, knowing her body well, and how to communicate her needs, EXACTLY.

I'd be loathe to recommend to anyone the course of action we -- I in particular -- took. But still to this day, it doesn't get much enticing than my days with the Best Body in the Building.

If you ever chance to meet up with one in your office, take my advice: drop everything, and run.

If chased, run faster.